In case you didn't know, I am a HUGE fan of Hyperbole and a Half. Allie is my official hero. I aspire to one day be as funny as her.
Anyway, whilst stalking perusing Hyperbole and a Half, I clicked on the "Awesome Button" and was directed to one of the most amazing sites I have ever seen... Superuseless Superpowers!

Here's just a couple to whet your appetite:

SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Post-It Nope
Take out the trash, pay the credit card bill, dry-clean the erotic Japanese body pillow. Yep, sticky notes are great for all kinds of reminders. Unless you have this power, which removes all the stickiness with just a touch. Now that once useful pad is a slightly less useful stack of paper.



SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Healing Punch
Float like a butterfly and sting like the bedside manner of Mother Teresa. As a superhero, sometimes you have to resort to violence. Too bad your ferocious fists instantly heal the damage you inflict. Whereas most punches would deliver a crushing Ivan Drago-like knockout. Yours leave your opponent feeling amazingly refreshed and rejuvenated. At least until he counters with an uppercut to your esophagus.



Go check out the rest NOW!!!